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When I was three years old I had a stroke
Luckily I didn’t croak
It’s not a joke
That’s why today I don’t drink, do drugs, or smoke… much
I’m still a human being
It’s just a man you’re seeing here
I still like to be with friends and pop open the odd cold can of beer
I just drink it from my right hand
Not my left hand
That’s the one hand
That does not move on my command
I like to think of my left side as my strong side
It’s my stubborn side
It has been affected but it still survived
So I like to wear it with some pride
Sure I could’ve died
But I’m still alive
So I walk through my life with a staggered stride
People still like to stare
Like to pretend they care
Tell me it’s not fair and when they get home they’ll say a prayer
But frankly it offends me
I don’t want them to defend me
I want them to treat me like a real person and befriend me
Not because they feel bad
Or my limitations make them sad
Or glad that compared to me their lives aren’t so bad
But because they like me for who I am
Limitations and all
They see me standing tall
Soaring through life instead of learning to crawl
I don’t like to be carried on the backs of the sympathetic
Honestly it makes me feel pathetic
When others try to take my burden as their own
Instead of letting me deal with it alone
I don’t mind asking for help when it’s essential
But I just want the chance to live up to my potential
Sure there are some things I can’t do by myself
Just like everyone else
And I don’t always know when to ask for some help
But just ‘cause it’s me doesn’t mean you should go out of your way
When no one’s around I get by quite fine on my own everyday
I know when it’s me it’s hard not to see twelve shades of gray
But if you could please just try to meet me halfway
My independence is a matter of pride
I appreciate it when others stand by my side
But don’t try to drag me along like some self-righteous guide
The only one who knows best for myself is me
The only path that I follow is the one that I lead
At my own speed
I’m my own steed
Someone please tell these people how I proceed
I succeed on my own or with a helping hand
But only from those who can understand that I’m my own man who can stand by myself and land on my own two strong feet and
My life goes according only to what I’ve planned
I’m not a victim, I’m a survivor
So please don’t treat me like I’m an outsider
I have a mind and a heart just like everyone else
If you cut me I bleed just like yourself
So don’t treat me like I’m some fragile thing
That could be so easily broken with the slightest ding
I’ve been through a lot and that makes me tough
So I know how to handle myself when things get rough
I do not seek approval or recognition
Or special attention just ‘cause I have a condition
I don’t need praise for just being me
For just trying to fit in with society
Sure, in their own special way everyone is unique
So then why am I singled out as some sort of freak
Just because my uniqueness you can see physically?
I’m just me
A human being
Can’t we agree
And just let me be me?
sometimes I amuse myself with my own words pt. II
- Me: time sucks. with its moving forward and stuff
- Ryan: Yeah man. growing up means growing apart
- Me: yeah. time needs to die. we should kill time
- Ryan: Fuck yeah
- Me: just waste it maaan.
- just waste time.
- ...oh wait
sometimes I amuse myself with my own words
- Ryan: I wonder how vaccuum tubes for drawing blood works
- Me: like a vampire with restraint
I wrote a new poem. Though I guess it’s more song-ish than poem-ish. But yeah, here it is.
Among the Stars
I’m just
Waiting for the sun to go down
I’m waiting for the sky to call me in
Waiting for this moment to begin
I am
Searching for that beautiful sound
I’m searching for that feeling from within
Searching for that one passionate sin
Because you
You fade away
Lost on the wind
And I’ve been seeking (for) you among the stars
Through time and space
You
Are like a dream
I can’t forget
And you’ve been drifting through my memories
While I’m asleep
I have
Never felt a love like yours
I’ve never had someone quite like this
Never have I shared such a soft kiss
I’ve been
Trying to open locked doors
I’m trying to find what’s gone amiss
Trying to hold on to your sweet bliss
This song
In my heart
Fills me up
When you’re here
With me
And you
You lift me up
Into the sky
And I’ve finally found where I belong
It’s here with you
FAVORITE SCRUBS MOMENTS: ONE PER EPISODE
7.08 “My Manhood”
(via tessaviolet)
Pushed out another poem today. I’m on a roll.
How come
When I wake up everyday
I look outside and the whole world’s just shades of grey?
I don’t know what I can do
I’m stepping on eggshells just so I can work through
These decisions cause strife
Do I want a house and a wife?
And a kid who’ll resent me for the rest of his life?
Or should I live life alone?
Become an unknown
Just live by the bottle until I turn to stone
I’m not sure where these paths lead
I don’t know how to proceed
I just know if I do nothing I’ll never succeed
Is that such a bad thing in a world full of greed?
And where I can’t work at Starbucks without a degree
But going to college costs an arm and a leg
And I’ll be paying it off ‘til I’m dead in my grave
Just to get out and a work a job that I hate
And I get home and pretend that my life is great
But I know deep down inside I’m just wasting away
Does that seem at all fair?
Should I even care?
Or should I sit around doing nothing, just wasting air?
Telling myself one day my ship will come in
‘Til I fade into nothing and become another has been
“He has been alive, but now he’s all gone”
Is all that they’ll say when it’s all said and done
“We try to remember him, but we really can’t
He was a no one, worthless, a dirt-covered ant”
Aren’t these words kinda pointless, just another dumb rant?
Talking is something, but actions outweigh some stupid chant
I can say that I vow to do something self-fulfilling
But how do you know that I’m really willing
This is just talk, just time that I’m killing
When this is done I’ll just be sitting around chilling
I’ll just eat, sleep, and shit; nothing too thrilling
Because what’s the point? I’m just useless filling
Just another consumer using up the world’s supply
Taking Earth’s air, food, and water until I go die
Just like everyone else ‘til we bleed this place dry
And then what do we do when our resources are gone?
Life will end without meaning yet time will just carry on
So what is our purpose if our existence is moot?
What is the point of this endless pursuit?
When what we do means nothing; our future is non-absolute
So why get out of bed when all there is is the end?
Yet we try to prevent it just so we can pretend
That there’s something more than our sad dry routines
We’re just a small spoke on a wheel of the universe’s machine
We try to live day by day, but our future’s foreseen
It all ends in death, not trying to be mean
But seriously, no, really, trust me on the sunscreen



